Friday, June 7, 2013


Today in my teenage angst, a lot of my life is about justification. I like to do socio-cultural analysis of media; specifically, if you hadn't already guessed, television. This requires a heavy participation in said media. Which is fine, right? Because I'm doing it for the sake of expanding my own awareness, as well as the awareness of those I bore with my media analysis in person and online. While this is my justfication, the reality is that there is no hardship involved. I love it; just so damn much. JUST SO MUCH GUYS! I started watching Teen Wolf a few days ago and I am eating it for breakfast. So please don't assume there is any sort of shame involved in how into this I am, because there can be no shame in this level of social awareness.

SO, in light of the upcoming premiere of Season 4, (WHICH! Is defs on my birthday. Go me.) I give you:

The 5 Best and Worst Things About Pretty Little Liars! 
(in no particular order)(also, we're only covering the worsts today)
This poster is amazing. I only sort of  really want it. via
1. Ian Harding. (I know, as if right?)
Okay, so I hadn't heard of Ian Harding until I started watching this show, but I fell in love with him in the first episode. I'm willing to admit that it's the teeth. Good glory those teeth.  It's also the ties tho. He wears those skinny ties that I love so much, almost every episode. Is it any wonder that every second he's not on screen, I miss him?
Guuhhh, the stroke of the head.... via
The problem with Ian Harding - or rather his character, Ezra Fitz - is that the portrayal of his relationship with sixteen (now seventeen) year old Aria is so endearing that it seems to make its illegality okay. I can't remember a show that has portrayed this kind of relationship in such a positive light and I just kind of wish that it wasn't.

2. They are all so pretty. (This might actually be the #1 worst thing.)
I ship Troian Bellisario's hair. Forget Ezra and Aria, I am living for that hair. The perfection of the appearance of every character (even when Spencer was locked up and out of her mind she looked amazing), creates yet one more unrealistic desire and expectation for its - largely teen and preteen - viewers. While these girls are legit so beautiful, their beauty (obvi) is not because of their amazing hair and wardrobes. Let's all just keep in mind, that at every moment on the set of this show, PROFESSIONALS ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!!
3. The familial interactions.
My sister and I used to talk about who we would choose to live with if our parents died. We attended a lot of funerals as children so I think it was an understandable morbidity. When it became clear that I probably wasn't going to have to go live with anybody, I began to think about which fictional families I would  most like to be a part. The Taylors of Friday Night Lights, are an obvious choice. The Conners of Roseanne, The Cohens of The O.C. and the Huxtables of The Cosby Show are high on my list too. I'm a little bummed to say that I don't want to be a part of any of the families featured on Pretty Little Liars.
This one's a particularly dysfunctional treat. via
Dysfunction Central is what the show sould actually be called. It's not catchy, but it gives a better summation of the portrayed relational values and interactions. No one has a proper sense of communication, or of the difference between helpful and hurtful. Family blow-ups happen in every episode. Estrangements begin and end like lava in a lamp. It's ridiculous.The worst part is that the parents are just as at fault as their children; as if they themselves have no concept of relational health. This leads us into issue #4.

4. All of the lying.
It's built right into the name, so I should probably get over this one. But the intentions involved in every lie are so skewed! The one being lied to always knows it and the one lying is always riddled with guilt and anxiety because of it. Why would you put yourselves through that guys!? While I really do understand this as the driving force of the show, everytime Hanna enters into another Caleb oriented lie, I cringe, knowing the fall out (and eventual make-up) that will come out of it. There's a common purpose right? Discover and defeat   -A. While -A is reaking havoc and very literally threatening their lives, I can't help but think they could take care of this a lot more smoothly if they just sat down, laid it all out on the table - truth wise, and went from there. Lying is not a way to secure psychological health or happiness. Let's all just agree on that.
Lying gets you an orange jumpsuit. via
Expanding on all of the lying, let's just talk about how far down the rabbit hole of secrets these girls have gotten and that I truly believe they're never going to be able to get out. I have an anxiety disorder so the pressure of keeping secrets - especially ones involving death, deception, and destruction, makes me want to go fetal right here at my desk. I don't know how they do it! Or how they expect me to believe that they're doing it that portrayed level of grace.

5. Noel Kahn's teeth.
Let's add in the general mouth area. via
This guy could get a lifetime of roles playing "male who looks sociopathic all the effing time", based on the merit of his teeth alone. That's all. 
So stay tuned for the much more gratifying 5 Best Things About Pretty Little Liars that is to come!  

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