Thursday, February 16, 2012


Today in my teenage angst, I am not a grandchild. I've been in a grandparent-less state for most of my life. My dad's parents were both gone by the time I was 5. My mom's dad died when I was 12 and her mom died just a couple years ago. Even so, she had dementia so we didn't have a relationship. I've accepted this as a part of my experience and am subsequently drawn to seniors who are willing to speak into my life. I value them so much more because I never really had ones that were related to me.

This morning I'm reading an ethnographic article on North American models of grandparenting and it hit me. Not only do I not have grandparents, I am not a grandchild. I guess I was but I never really identified with that state enough to say, 'I always will be.'

A big part of building self-awareness is identifying those things that you are. It's funny how you don't think to also identify the things that you're not.

1 comment:

Han said...

I was a great grandchild when I was born. 1 Great Grandad, 2 Great Grandmas, 2 Grandmas and 2 Grandads.

I'm now 25 and I'm down to 1 Grandma and 2 Grandads.

I think I cried when I lost them but the one that hit me the most was when my Grandma had a stroke back in 2008. The last time I saw her was in hospital and it was the first funeral that I went to. I cried in the hospital, I cried the following morning when I told my boss (And when he sent me home on family leave after I dragged myself into work because I didn't know the procedure and whether my grandma was a close enough relative to count). I cried at church on the Sunday - how could a God that loved me that much take my Grandma from me? My friend's daughter came and gave me a massive hug - she was like 8 at the time and she stood next to me stroking my hair and hugging me! (rock on!)

My Dad told a story at the funeral and I cried like a baby.