Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Today in my teenage angst, I cruelly laughed at a classmate, - who's name I cannot for the life of me remember -, due to his obsession with and gratuitous (still the word of the post) care for Roger Federer.

If you're not a tennis fan or follower, you probably don't know that a foolish fan, known as a 'mystery blogger' (aren't we all mystery bloggers?) posted a death threat about Roger Federer somewhere online. I assume it was on his blog. 

As a tennis fan, I find this sad. Roger Federer is seemingly the nicest. And he has the kind of hair that he'll never cut, that just makes you want to hug him. He also has three year old twin girls and a beautiful wife who is frequently featured at his games. He has a life, you know? Everyone wants Roger to win, but we know that if he loses, he still goes home to his beautiful wife and daughters. Not to mention the fact that he's ranked number one. He's loaded. 

My classmate though, his reaction was not so tame. His reaction was one of patriotic responsibility. If there was an army for the united states of Roger Federer, he would have enlisted immediately. As he told me the news as soon as I arrived in the classroom, he was visibly concerned for the safety of our dear Roger. "I should be there! I should be flying to Shanghai right now!" he exclaimed, believing himself to be the best protection from the inevitable sniper weapon aimed at Federer's forehead. 

I tried to explain to him the minuscule probability of this horror actually coming to fruition. He found this insulting. Well, why wouldn't people want to kill Roger Federer? We argued about the differences between Federer and John Lennon. 

He assured me that if Roger was indeed assassinated, I would feel terrible for thinking it wouldn't happen. Also, in that case, he would be taking the day off of class to mourn and would I please take notes for him. 

Well sure, friend. Sure.

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